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Champions League? More Like Champions League of Laughs (For Spurs Fans, Anyway)
Okay, so Tottenham stomped Copenhagen 4-0. Big deal. I'm supposed to be impressed? Look, after that Chelsea snoozefest, even I was starting to wonder if Ange Postecoglou had lost the plot. But let's be real, Copenhagen ain't exactly Real Madrid. Their keeper, Keeper McMustache, apparently decided to audition for a blooper reel. I almost felt bad for the guy... almost.
Did anyone else catch that the Copenhagen coach decided not to press Spurs? Not pressing Spurs? Is that even allowed? It's like handing them a cheat code. I'm not saying Spurs are bad, but come on, it's like letting a toddler play chess and then acting shocked when they win.
Van de Ven: From Snub to Stud
So, Van de Ven scores this "worldy" goal, right? The kind that makes you question everything you thought you knew about central defenders. Apparently, he was in the doghouse for skipping the fan appreciation lap after the Chelsea loss. A snub, they called it. Give me a break. Maybe the guy just had to pee.
But seriously, that goal? It was like watching a freight train with a vendetta. All that after apologizing to Frank? Redemption arc, activated. Tottenham 4-0 Copenhagen: Van de Ven stunner gives fans reason to smile.
Was it really Puskas-worthy though? I mean, Son Heung-Min won it for basically the same thing. Are we just giving participation trophies now?
The Muani Rollercoaster
Kolo Muani... where do I even start? The guy should've had a hat trick. Seriously, I've seen toddlers with better finishing skills. But then he pulls off that Zidane-esque assist for Odobert. It's like watching Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde play soccer.
And speaking of Odobert, that kid's got some serious potential. Him and Udogie on the left are causing problems. Maybe now they will get the hype they deserve.
Brennan Johnson's red card? Soft. So soft. VAR slowing it down doesn't make it any less of a BS call.
xG Nonsense and Empty Seats
Tottenham's xG against Chelsea was 0.05? Pathetic. No wonder the fans were staying home. You can't serve up that kind of garbage and expect people to pay good money to watch it. Is that why the Tottenham stadium has empty seats?
But then they bounce back with a 3.31 xG against Copenhagen. I mean, come on, what are we even measuring here? The quality of the opponent's mustache?
So, What's the Real Story?
Look, I'm not saying Spurs are suddenly world-beaters. They beat a bad team at home. Let's not get carried away. But maybe, just maybe, there's a glimmer of hope for those fans who haven't completely lost their minds. Then again, it's Spurs. Something will almost certainly go wrong.