Another Giant Water Merger: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

So, the water gods have spoken. From their corporate Mount Olympus—or, you know, Camden, New Jersey—they've decreed that two of the biggest water utility giants are becoming one. American Water and Essential Utilities are merging to form a new behemoth, a $63 billion monster that will control the taps for nearly 20 million Americans.

And we're all supposed to clap, right? We're supposed to read the press release, nod sagely, and say, "Ah, yes, synergy."

Give me a break.

Let's All Pretend This Is About 'Service'

You have to hand it to them, the corporate-speak is a masterpiece of bland reassurance. In the American Water, Essential Utilities announce merger, the company’s CEO, John Griffith, who will conveniently be the CEO of this new mega-company, talks about a "shared mission to provide safe, clean, reliable and affordable water." Christopher Franklin, the CEO of the company being swallowed whole, chimes in about "expertise, financial strength and regulatory credibility."

Let’s translate this from PR gibberish into English. "Shared mission" means a shared mission to consolidate power and maximize shareholder returns. "Financial strength" means they’ll have so much capital they can out-lobby, out-litigate, and outlast any local government or consumer group that dares to question them. And "affordable"? That’s the real punchline. When has consolidating an essential service into a near-monopoly ever made it more affordable for the little guy? I’ll wait.

They’re building a plumbing Voltron. American Water is the body and torso, and Essential is being bolted on as a leg. They’re even calling the new company "American Water," just to make it clear who's really in charge. The new board? Ten directors from American Water, five from Essential. This isn't a merger; it's an acquisition disguised in a friendly, all-stock, tax-free handshake. And what does this new creation get? A combined rate base of nearly $30 billion. That’s the asset value they get to use to justify rate hikes to regulators. How is that number supposed to make me feel secure?

Your Bill is the Real Bottom Line

This isn't just about boardroom chess. This is about the water coming out of your faucet. Nineteen and a half million people, from Pennsylvania to California, will now be customers of a single entity headquartered in New Jersey. My own water bill, from a company that feels impossibly distant, just went up 8% last quarter for "infrastructure improvements." What happens when the company making those decisions is twice as big and twice as far away?

The whole thing is a recipe for disaster. No, "disaster" is too clean—it’s a slow-motion train wreck of bureaucratic indifference. When your water tastes funny or the pressure drops, who are you going to call? Some national call center where they put you on hold for 45 minutes while playing a tinny version of a pop song from 2012? And when they finally pick up, they’ll have no idea about the specifics of the water mains in your town, a place they couldn't find on a map. They’ll just read from a script and promise to "escalate the ticket." And then...

This is the inevitable result of financializing a basic human right. Water shouldn't be a product traded by guys in suits whose biggest concern is the pro forma market capitalization. Offcourse, they’ll talk a big game about upgrading aging infrastructure, and maybe they will. But at what cost? And with what oversight? When one company controls the water for that many people across 17 states, who holds them accountable? A patchwork of underfunded state utility commissions? Good luck with that.

Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe this really is the only way to fund the trillions in upgrades our nation’s crumbling pipes desperately need. Maybe a massive, centralized entity is more efficient. But does efficiency have to come at the cost of accountability? Does it have to feel this... predatory?

Just Drink the Corporate Kool-Aid

Look, let's stop kidding ourselves. This deal isn't about better service or cleaner water. It’s about creating an entity so large, so essential, and so politically connected that it becomes untouchable. It's a "too big to fail" utility in the making. They're not just merging pipes and treatment plants; they're merging lobbying power and regulatory influence. And every time you turn on your tap, you’ll be paying for it. Cheers.